“…Immediate, excruciating pain that simply shuts down one’s ability to do anything, except, perhaps, scream. Mental discipline simply does not work in these situations.”
So yeah, after giving it some thought, I just decided if I don’t get to sleep tonight no one does! Unfortunately that isn’t some quote about a chupacabra horror flick coming out soon, but rather a direct quote from the Schmidt Pain Index of Insect Stings, and more specifically his description of what it feels like to be stung by a Tarantula Hawk, which dispute it’s awesome mythical hybrid sounding name, is actually a wasp. But it’s a wasp that does this:
That isn’t an ongoing climatic battle by the way, the giant murder-bug already paralyzed the slightly bigger murder-bug we’ve all come to know and hate/fear, and that spider’s going to stay in that state for the remainder of it’s life. In all fairness though, that won’t be very long though. These wasps occasionally suck their fluids like a vampire, and then they inject a single egg inside of it. Yep, we get another chest-burster bug. These monsters around found wherever there are tarantulas, but they appear to not be in Michigan (And trust me, I’ve been looking!).
That being said, some of our local pests did manage to enter the list, so on a 0-4 scale, we have:
The Bald Face Hornet (2):
This sting feels “Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door,” and the pain lasts around 3-4 minutes.
To get the sense of how this one feels, “Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue,” which lasts between 4 and 10 minutes.
The honey bee hurts about the same and lasts roughly as long, but feels more like “a match-head that flips off and burns on your skin.”
Then our last local fiend is the Paper Wasp (3). Getting stung by this creature hurts for about 5 to 15 minutes, and the sting itself is “Caustic & burning. Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of hydrochloric acid on a paper cut.”
Unfortunately, the outdoors are new nice to just board up the doors and windows. If you see any of these insects and want to reclaim your backyard, call A1 Bee Specialists at (248) 467-4849 or (800) 656-0222.
For additionally reading however, click here to view About.com’s full article on the matter.